Accidental Food Critic Reviews of Everything We Consume

The Kiss of Armageddon …  Shopping for Lenses

(Just published this on YELP. But soon, I will be migrating my reviews to a site of my own. But it’s important people know what’s out there. This review is about an optical shop and my experiences with staff there.)


I always base my reviews on the quality of service rendered, since that’s all we’ve been for the past five decades, and thus it is essential to keep track of these Service Satisfaction Trends (SST). I don’t care if it’s a psychiatric hospital or an optical place – they will be evaluated by me, based on their delivery of services. 

So I’m just gonna give a taste of this experience, as I don’t have the time to dwell on them much longer. 


They were offended because the frames I ordered felt like razors digging into the skin behind my ear. They were beautiful frames, hand-crafted in Denmark, and even had my name soldered on the arm of the frame, which was one of the issues they had with customer satisfaction. 
“I can’t sell these now. They have your name on the frame.”
“Well, that is not essential – to have my name on the frame – nor did I know they put my name on the frame, nor do I care to have my name on the frame, so why are you telling me this?”


On an earlier visit to the shop to resolve the problem I had with the frames, I was told it was a matter of the “Lost Art of Frame Adjustment.” A lost art, however, implies an ancient art of a prior or earlier civilization. Frames haven’t met the time requirement to be considered a “Lost Art.” 

But, go figure. 


One day the owner sent me a series of rambling emails about the challenges of being a small business owner. I didn’t even bother to open the last email. Maybe I should have, since the following message I received from them, from some woman, as I had decided to simply have new lenses cut to my current frames by Cutler and Gross of London, and have those lenses placed in my frames, who told me they were no longer interested in servicing me, and they would mail the new lenses to me, without clearly stating the procedure (that I would have to be there to sign for them [I was 300 miles away]since the lenses were costly – $600 – which were incidentally mailed in a small bubble envelope, with the lenses stuffed in a small pouch – no reinforcement, surely for such a valuable item, – and at some point told me (although I have no recollection of it) that they would mail me a check, refunding the frames that didn’t work. I wrote them about a week later, saying the credit hadn’t appeared in my card yet. When she reminded of “the check,” I wrote this woman back and said … “I paid with them with a credit card, so why are you sending me a check, since that’s not how I paid for them.” And her response was: “Because that’s what you asked for.” 

Hm. Okay. 


Who can argue that we have not reached the end? Just look at the news. There is no hope of redemption at this stage, is there?
So when did this twist of Armageddon begin? September of 2015. 

Perhaps it is better NOT to see? 

Than to see. 


So how much did it cost me?


(I may be off by a couple of bucks, but it’s an accurate estimate. I mean, I could’ve said: “Close to $1000!” That sounds much more ominous.)


$338 (Or something close to that.)

That, however, does not include the price I will have to pay to have the lenses inserted in my new frames, since I decided to simply order a fresh pair of the same frames I already had, and which Cutler and Gross, shipped in a box much larger and deeper than a shoebox and which were nowhere as fragile as the lenses shipped in the cheapest bubble-lined envelope, and had them in my possession within days. 

And just imagine … They had to make it safely across the Atlantic. 


However, the most offensive episode of this entire process was when I received an email from them this past Friday (Yes, it WAS Friday the 13th) wishing me a happy birthday. I wrote them back, telling them to remove me from their mailing list, as this last email was not only offensive, but it had totally creeped me out. 


However, credit must be given where credit is due. The examination produced the best lenses I’ve ever had. 

But was it worth it?  

Do the arithmetic. 

Things That Never Made It Into Print

By Things That Never Made It Into Print

Keep it simple ... Radical ... Writer, Artist, Dancer, Musician, Chicago Betty

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