It’s so fucking weird. It limits the number of people you can send to.
What a great day I’ve had so far – my last in Maryland. Nothing but good things have been with me this time –
It took me all that it took to get here though.
So I leave with many mixed but feelings of abundance and the privilege of having experienced a true friend – as in someone who is there when you need them.
In the end.
That’s all that counts.
Now that truly sucks (love, passion, but no physical contact). It is excruciatingly painful, in fact. And highly unhealthy for those of us affected by extremes of emotion.
So it’s been raining for days and I’ve had a chance to clear my senses, which had gone astray and wrongly focused –
And I’m still so totally confused.
At first I was gonna put this on my blog. But then I thought: Why not put it here? It’s as though one has been searching for their audience all their life and finally found it! Wow. That’s a mouthful.
Some may wonder if there is such a thing as the Bewitching Hour. And I’m gonna step in here and say it does exist. How do I know it exists? Through my experience with my and of my illness. The only time I wasn’t suicidal when I was deeply depressed was the months after Andrew’s birth. I had fallen to such unfathamoble (damn! i need spellcheck! I already know it’s wrong.)
For some reason, at that time, suicide was off the radar for me. And it’s kind of a mystery to me, because, god knows I get suicidal very easily, given the proper conditions. I was on the couch for months, however, and time seemed to drag on endlessly. It felt like a slow death. But for some reason, every day, at 4pm, my Depression would miraculously lift. And I breathed in moments of relief. I will never forget that hour.