In Search of a Title

In Search of a Title 

Though you spend years buried, knowing who you are, but unable to be, still there are leaks along the way, both good and bad, glimpses from above, colors so bright, impossible to ignore, even from below. 

Then something happens, not through the strength you know you have, but will not budge, but something outside yourself, from above, forces beyond your reach, forces that nudge you to be the person you know you are. 

And though the roots have always been strong, it’s branches gnarled, they shed and new ones, unlike any before, spread above and beyond, uncertain of how far, and though this sensation is new, you know it well, for this is who you are. 

And so you begin, lighter than ever before, though heaviness and darkness still prevail, but now are bathed under the fierce light of the sun. And so, you tread carefully, but with confidence, on a thread you were meant to walk, and though balanced, shakes ever so slightly, as its rhythm grows. 

And though you now are the person you’ve always been, you know that was merely a theory before, and stood as shadows do – not far from you, but far enough. But now, you and your shadow are one, your companion, while you walk upon this trail, and learn, things you could never before. 

But this is no easy task. 

Though filled with light, the sun behind you, darkness is still ahead, for light never stands alone, but is the consort of darkness, and this is how you balance the scales. And though the branches are no longer gnarled, and the engines roar, the road ahead is, as always, unknown. 

And so, you follow paths, which must be followed, however dark they may appear, until you reach a room filled with light, and the sun bathes your face, fully knowing who you are, until you don’t, for you never know when the end is near. 

 

Betty Barkas Hood

Swimming

There is a place you must go, and though you cannot see where it is, you know it is, know the distance you must travel is vast and unknown, and there is no sun to serve you as a guide, nor any guarantee that you will make it there, and instead be condemned to dwell in the darkness of infinity, and while there, you ask yourself: “How much more must one endure? How long can one endure?” 

But these questions do not suffice, for you know the answer is obscured by the shadows of uncertainty, and so you grasp what you can, to guide you through the night, and hope you will return to see the sun again.

And so you turn to the memory of the notes that still exist within you, for darkness has no power over them, for these notes reside far above the clouds, above the sky, above the heavens, where the shadows of light are bred and born and transformed, from the greater darkness within the universe, which we will never reach or fully know, but still know it well, for those notes, though born in darkness, are overcome by the power of light that breaks apart from the darkness from which they were issued, and sheds.

And with this light, you know darkness will never win the war, for light is far greater than the birth of night, and so you arm yourself with those notes as your guide – The Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 in G, which stirs in you the will to live and swim towards the light.   

 

"The Others"

Just in case you’re wondering …
Those who kill themselves – or try –
do not want to die.
Or …
Hurt loved ones
Inflict pain on others
Leave a sparkling legacy behind.
All they want is for the pain to go away.
How selfish of them!
How can they hurt me so!

These thoughts are your thoughts –
Not there’s.
The Myths of The Others
When, in fact, it is an act of preservation of the self –
In a twisted sort of way …
But fully logical.
When the self causes more harm –
than not.
It is only natural to obliterate.
Yes.
An act of Desperation –
When one can no longer see the light.
Please, God.
Make the pain go away –
Make it stop –

But God is not there.
Does not.
Cannot.
And that is the only prayer they can utter.
When the only Light is Darkness
And when they –
The Expert Navigators –
Reach the end –
And, there
There is Light!
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Than the accidental slip of the tongue.

“The Others”

Just in case you’re wondering …

Those who kill themselves – or try –
do not want to die.
Or …
Hurt loved ones
Inflict pain on others
Leave a sparkling legacy behind.
All they want is for the pain to go away.

How selfish of them!
How can they hurt me so!

These thoughts are your thoughts –
Not there’s.

The Myths of The Others

When, in fact, it is an act of preservation of the self –
In a twisted sort of way …
But fully logical.
When the self causes more harm –
than not.
It is only natural to obliterate.

Yes.
An act of Desperation –
When one can no longer see the light.

Please, God.
Make the pain go away –
Make it stop –

But God is not there.
Does not.
Cannot.
And that is the only prayer they can utter.
When the only Light is Darkness

And when they –
The Expert Navigators –
Reach the end –
And, there

There is Light!

Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Than the accidental slip of the tongue.