By now, everyone will have celebrated – in one way, or another – their Thanksgiving feast. I am thankful for many things. I am grateful that I found my voice – finally – after years and years of struggling to clearly hear and connect my thoughts in some coherent and meaningful manner – for I had no idea what I would say, until I said it, put it down in print. And that is how I discovered who I am. That was the only way for me.
And along the way, there were plenty of tests and many failures and surprises and mistakes, and it became clear, The School of Life, never takes a break, until it’s over, whether we move with it or not, the lessons keep repeating, and the most significant lesson of all? … What did you learn?
The most beautiful composition I ever expressed was the birth of my children. I had no idea I would be so fortunate to produce two other human beings, beautiful boys, both so intelligent and creative, although prior to that, I had often worried about the risks associated with an illness as volatile as this …
Would it wise to reproduce? Would it be fair?
And that was years before I understood the insidious nature of this disease, but I now know I was on the right track. It was risky. It is risky. Extremely risky. But when I discovered I was pregnant with my first child, I was overwhelmed with sensations of beauty and joy and selfishly, I could not destroy these feelings … They held such power over me.
And so it happened. And perhaps (highly likely) they prolonged my desire to live – but even that wasn’t always the case, for not even Creation, sadly, can compete with the mighty sword of this illness.
And look. What they have inherited?
A blessing and a curse.
As for me, I know it’s time to go. I have no fear of death, for I have already died once, and let me tell you something about Death …
There is nothing there.
There is no memory of it.
For how could there be?
When your dead?