Gender Roles

Thoughts and Conflict Resolution

(I realized I hadn’t quite wrapped up this piece – I even forgot to put up a title.)

So here is my conclusion:

Sometimes thoughts can help resolve feelings and ensure a wiser decision than one based on raw emotion. And that’s what happened in this instance.

It was a new experience for me to feel physical aggression, mostly because I cower at such behavior. It frightens me. And so what happened, as my anger began to dissipate, is that the thought alone served its purpose – an emotional reaction – and that was it. There was no need to behave physically aggressive. I was satisfied. And, beyond that, I was delighted that I would not damage my hand by behaving aggressively, since my hands have incredible value for me. How would I write, for example? That would truly be devastating.

Still, it was kind of fun and novel to feel that experience.

I was so fucking pissed at someone that the only way I could think of deriving a sense of satisfaction and justice was by punching him in the face.

A left-hook, or something.

However as I am not familiar with the sport and as I have never done this before, I have no idea where my punch will land –

Somewhere on face.
But where on the face?
The cheek?
The jawbone?
The nose –

No, no, no.
It’s the eye.

Tank you.

And I fantasized about giving him a shiner.
I could visualize the dark blue stain around his eye.
And the yellow around that.
Dark blue and Murky Yellow –
What a great color combination!

I was so fucking pissed at him!
That was the only way I could relieve the frustration I felt – through Physical Aggression.

I surprised even myself.
But giving him a punch felt fantastic!

Got my wings.
Put them on.
And took off.

Things That Never Made It Into Print

By Things That Never Made It Into Print

Keep it simple ... Radical ... Writer, Artist, Dancer, Musician, Chicago Betty

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